“For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love He predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will— to the praise of His glorious grace, which He has freely given us in the One He loves. In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that He lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding.” Ephesians 1:4-8
I noticed the lump in my left leg on a Friday a few weeks ago and called the doctor’s office on the following Monday for an appointment. After a brief exam by the doctor, he gave me a script for an ultrasound, which was performed the following morning (Tuesday).
On Wednesday morning, a nurse from my doctor’s office called me. Although I thought it would be a short conversation wherein I was told the lump was nothing and I could just ignore it, I had a paper and pen to write everything down that she said.
After giving me the exact dimensions, she said, “Sharon, you have a palpable mass of uncertain etiology.” Uncertain etiology? Although I wasn’t exactly sure what “etiology” meant at that point, my heart sank and tears welled up in my eyes.
“Uncertain etiology? Can you please spell etiology for me?”
“E-T-I-O-L-O-G-Y. The doctor said you can either have an MRI or just go directly to a general surgeon to have the mass removed and biopsied.”
“You mean I can’t just ignore this? The doctor told me it is probably nothing.”
“You can’t ignore this, Sharon.”
The nurse gave me the names of a few general surgeons, and I quickly prayed and trusted the Lord that He would have me contact the right one. While I dialed the phone to call the first general surgeon on the list given to me, my mind was racing and my heart was praying, “Lord, I want to grow old with Jim. I want to do life together my family…for a very long time. I want to be the mommy to Joshua and Gabrielle. I love our cherubs so much. I want to be their mommy their whole lives. Please, Lord, be gracious to me. Forgive me, Lord. I was having such a difficult time the other day and uttered things to You that I didn’t mean at all. You know that. You know my heart. Please let me be OK. Please let this mass be nothing consequential. Please, Jesus.”
After hanging up the phone with the general surgeon’s scheduling secretary, the words “uncertain etiology” were like a dark cloud hovering above my head. I looked up “etiology” at www.dictionary.com. In short, etiology is a medical term used for “origin”. The origin of the mass in my leg was uncertain, so they had to remove it and biopsy it. The pathology had to be tested, so the mass had to be excised.
After an unexpected whirlwind of a morning from when the nurse called, I sat down to quietly seek and listen for the Lord. I felt Him quiet me with His love so softly. (Zeph. 3:17) Sharon, your origin is certain. I am your Origin. I am your Maker. And your eternity is secure. You know Who made you. You know from where you came. I am holding you tightly. Do not be afraid. I am with you. Your origin is certain.
As the days passed until the morning of the excision of the mass, those words of truth quieted my heart with certainty. My origin is certain. Before the creation of the world, I was His. My Maker holds my eternity in His precious hands because of redemption through Him. He has lavished His grace on me. Thank you, Lord. Thank you that there is no uncertain etiology as Your child. I am sure. I am Yours. There is no uncertainty. He created my inmost being. All the days He has ordained for me are written in His book. I am certain of all these things. Security never felt so good.
(I’ll be sharing about the surgical procedure and the relieving results in an upcoming post.)
“For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.” Psalm 139:13-16
Sharon – I praise God you know whose you are and where you came from!
He knows your name!
He knows your every thought!
He'll catch you when you fall!
I'm here praying for you and trusting God for a beautiful report!
Love and blessings,
Jill
Oh friend, I will be praying…
Hey Sharon,
I don't know what happened, but I just got a email that said the one I sent you didn't go through…? Don't know why that was.
Could you email me one more time?
Sweet Sharon, thank you for sharing your fears and concerns and the beautiful praises of your heart that flowed even in those moments after your phone call. Lifting you up! With love and certainty of Who our Maker is, Samantha
Oh Sharon, what blessed assurance. I'm so glad you added that last sentence that mentioned "relieving results". I trust and pray that means the findings brought relief to your heart.
Know that whatever He brings you to, He will take you through.
Hugs, love and prayers,
Joy
Sharon,
Wow! God has shown you some great things in the midst of all of this! We definitely can know our origin and our eternity by the Word of God. No uncertainty there! I am assuming that "relieving results" mean that everything has been found to be ok.
I am looking forward to the rest of the story. 🙂
Christy
Oh, Sharon, thank you for such an honest and authentic post. Tears came to my eyes as I read the cry of your heart…what we all know we would feel when told news like you received. Where our thoughts go when we think of leaving behind the loved ones we hold dear in this world. How sweet that in your fear, in your questioning the Holy Spirit led you right to the Father and to TRUTH!!
Thank you for reminding me of who and WHOSE I am today. Psalm 139 is one of my favorite Psalms, and I teach it often when I speak. As you know from my book, it is how God reached me initially…He knows us…our every thought, our every word, our every action…since before time began. He loves us with an everlasting love.
Can't wait for the rest of the story!!
Love you,
Wendy
PTL you are His! And praise Him that you know it… that you could immediately go to His presence with this.
Last year, I had to have a biopsy done on some nodules they found on my thyroid. That was a scary time for me. More so then any of my surgeries I've been through. But, God, My Rock and My Salvation, was with me every step. Praise Him!
I can't wait to hear all that you have to say on what happened next.